Amanda Takes Off...

Today, around noon, Master texted me. I recognized snow, my name, and "see you soon, fighting!" Heidi helped me with the rest of it.

It snows. Have a nice day and I hope you to be happy always. See you later, fighting!

It so lifted my spirits that I read the message several times afterwards. I got to class and before I could say anything, he asked if I got his message. I nodded, bowing my head slightly, and thanked him.

Unbeknownst to me but beknownst to several of the teenage boys, Master had arranged for two hours of soccer specifically to get some shots for an essay I submitted somewhere. Cocky was excited, made sure I understood what we were doing, and ran around, making sure everyone else understood it, too.

We were playing in large teams, rotating people in and out and Master was shooting away. During one of my out rotations, he said, "Amanda, 선물. Your home, calendar?" He handed me a 2007 taekwondo calendar. I smiled and thanked him and he said, "선물. 태권도 좋아해요." (Gift, you like taekwondo.) I smiled and said, "I do like taekwondo," thanked him again. I felt a little overwhelmed by his kindness—in a good way—and a little shy, too.

When I got home, Heidi was online. She told me she ran into him on her way home, in front of the studio, and they talked briefly. She said, "He worries about you. In a general way. But you don't have to worry that you are difficult for him to deal with. He understands you. And the thing I felt after the conversation was that you are quite a lucky person, having a good friend like Master around you!"

My response to Heidi was, "And you, too! I may not know many Koreans, but the ones I know are worth their weight in gold!" Sometimes I worry that I put too many demands on Heidi and Master (in different ways, of course). I feel like I take so much from them. But both of them are incredible. I am honored to know them.

Master took 56 photos for me, even though I don't think he knows exactly what I need them for. I love how we get into taekwondo-like stances without trying. I also thought my mom might like to see a picture of me bowing, despite the fact that the flash and light and movement makes my chin look huge.

Finally, tonight on an episode of CSI5, I heard the best line ever.

Grissom: The Telltale Heart. I thought you didn't like reading the classics.

Stokes: Well I do when they're about dismembered bodies.

Oh how terribly embarrassing. I cried during the break in class tonight.

Right before class, a bunch of the boys were kicking around balls, playing soccer. I was reading a really interesting book (written in comic book format) about Korean history on the bench. (Graphic novels and graphic books are very, very popular here, and not just with young kids. Tired Guy said, "Oh! Amanda! Cartoons! Good!" to me.) I got hit in the face with a ball. Usually this is No Big Deal. You get hit with soccer balls, and sometimes in the face. It happens. Heck, I've hit people in the face.

But this kid had such power behind his kick that I expected my nose to start bleeding. It knocked my glasses off my face and bent the nose-piece. The boys rushed over to see if I was OK, and that says something, because part of the face-saving aspect of this culture is not to do that, even to a female. Whenever I've gotten hit before, it's just been, "Oooh! Amanda, you OK?" from a distance and laughing. (Not laughing at you, but laughing to save you face.) This time was different.

I managed not to cry (face-saving attempt on my part), but the poor kid who hit me kept apologizing and bowing very low and the teenage boys starting hitting him and it was chaos. I kept saying, "It's OK, it's OK, I'm OK, I'm OK." It really was a great kick.

Then, just when they were believing that I was really OK, I got hit three times in rapid succession, each time with Cocky Guy yelling at the other boys, "Amanda...don't do that...Amanda...stop!" After the third time I got up to move, Cocky Guy followed me saying, "Amanda, Amanda, you OK? Face red, you OK?" and this was exactly when Master walked in and asked why my eye and half my face was red.

And it started all over again. Cocky Guy started yelling about it, Master smacked the kid, he was bowing over and over and over...

We were doing work on our stances in class. I want to change my stances to the way Master practices them. I feel a sense of duty and honor to do it my studio's way. Since this is the first time we've worked so intensely on stances, and since I recently told him I wanted to change my stances to his way, and since this didn't pose much risk to my leg, I have a feeling he did this class for me.

But it was so hard. My legs were shaking from the concentrated work in horse riding stance and I felt stupid even though neither the students nor Master was giving me any reason to feel stupid.

One of the most common and basic stances is a front low block. In my American studio, a left one would start with the left fist near the right side of your neck, below your ear, and the right fist near the left hip. When you block, you bring the left hand down straight over your left leg, right hand drawn back by right hip, left arm very straight.

He wants me to have both fists by my right ear, not touching but backs facing each other. That feels strange. And he wants my left arm to go to the middle of my body, and be slightly bent. The right arm goes to the same place as before.

I learned that stance the American way back in 1997. I may have had a six year break between the first and second times I did taekwondo, but that one thing was the same in both Minnesota and Atlanta. Here I am, 9 years later, trying to break the muscle memory. So I kept jutting my arm out over my leg, then drawing it back.

Master had us do the third poomse—with every new stance and block I need to change in it—for practice and I mostly messed up. And worse, I realized I was messing up 3/4 beats too late, just quickly enough to shake my head and get frustrated, but not soon enough to fix it.

I'm homesick with the holidays coming up, an extended family member slighted me in an email to our entire family this morning, my face hurt, and I was frustrated. The whole time during class I was trying not to cry and I just wanted to change after the hour was up and leave. A bunch of boys were in the changing room, so I went outside to breathe and try to calm myself down. Master came out to ask what was wrong.

I shook my head and then burst into tears.

Poor, poor, poor Master. He was concerned that I was upset over tonight's class, or about January and how I won't be able to do class for the whole month because of things neither of us can change. And no surprise, "homesick" doesn't translate even though I know the words for "home" and "sick."

I just mumbled in bad Korean, "American Thanksgiving and Christmas and my mom and dad and American little brother. Home, home, home." (I said "American" little brother to make sure he understood I wasn't talking about Ghost.)

He said, "Home here? Home?"

"No, America, America."

He switched to English. "Amanda, your brother. Ummm... Iraq? He OK?"

"Yes, yes, yes."

Back to Korean. "OK. Good. Breathe, breathe, Amanda. 화이팅, fighting. It's OK. It's OK. And poomse, hard change after one year? One year?"

"Eighteen months."

He smiled, "Eighteen months, very hard. Slow, slow, you're doing good. It's OK. 화이팅, Amanda. 화이팅!"

I just nodded and he stayed with me for a few more minutes. He went back inside, I kept breathing. Finally, a few minutes later he came back out and said, "Amanda, it's cold. Change. Stay in there [the changing area], OK?"

I just laughed, went inside, changed, breathed deeply. When I left I avoided any eye contact with the boys, but I did say "Tongil, Kwanjangnim!" and bow out properly. (Not quite. Everyone else mutters some long sentence; I have no idea what it is.) The boys all yelled out (in English), "Bye, Amanda!" "Night!" "Bye! Bye!" I called back, "See you tomorrow!" in English.

I texted Master during the subway ride home. I looked up homesick in my digital dictionary. There were two different words and looking them up in reverse was useless. I texted Master in Korean (I think the last sentence was correct in Korean, actually).

American Thanksgiving (11/23) and Christmas...[word 1 for homesick]? [word 2 for homesick]? English 'homesick.' And the ball hurt my face.

That studio makes me feel like people here care about me, and while I'm sure none of them think less of me, I was so embarrassed that I couldn't keep it together. I felt like I wasn't showing any self-control. Alas, tomorrow is another day and I will show perserverance and go on. (Hey, it's soccer Thursday! Besides, I have to take photos for an essay that I submitted to an online publication.)

In other news there's a movie opening here soon, Saibogujiman Kwenchana or...wait for it...I'm a Cyborg, But It's Okay. It features 비/Rain, a former-boy band singer who is popular here and one of TIME Magazine's 100 People Who Shape Our World.

You simply must see the trailer, even if you don't speak Korean. (I can't link directly to the trailer, use the first link at IMDB.) You don't need to speak Korean to know that this is going to be one of the best bad movies in the world. Heck, it may be my Christmas gift to everyone next year.

Back to Rain. He has this song, "Touch Ya," that gets stuck in my head so easily. I haven't been a boy band/pop boy fan since I was 11, but his music is just clear enough that I can make out the words (even if I can't understand them). This video shows "Touch Ya" and "I'm Coming." (The second song start around 3:30.) I have no idea why he's dressed like a confused Cat in the Hat in the first song. The moves around 4:30 (shirt lifting) and 4:55 (weird gunfire noise thing) feature in an ad for a notebook computer here.

My therapy is back to lasers. I don't know what they're doing with me. At any rate, there's only two more days of it and while my bruise is still slightly squashy, it's much better looking.

I got to go to class tonight! 만세! It was a small class tonight, maybe 10 or 12 of us? I was the third person to show up, and Ghost and another kid were there, so I greeted them informally. My "little brother" Ghost yelled, "Amanda! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!" and waved at me with a big grin on his face and the other student warmly greeted me. When I came out of the changing room, Studious had shown up. "Amanda!! 안녕하세요! Oh, you're here!" Tired Guy showed up, did a double take and said, "Amanda! Umm....umm...OK, um. Hmm." He finally decided to speak Korean and said something very nice sounding. When Powerful saw me through the door he looked surprised, waved, smiled, and then bowed deeply. He came inside and said "hi" in his English-language voice.

Awwww. I love my boys.

I bought a small gift for Master and his wife in Japan. Michael had asked me to pick up some green tea for him because Korean green tea isn't that great. I got some for my new boss since I didn't have anything to bring her from America, and I thought that Master and his wife might also like some. Nobody answered when I knocked on their door before class. I was starting up the stairs when his wife opened the door. I rushed back down and said, "From Japan, for you and kwanjangnim," in English. When Master came to class, he bowed at me, said, "Amanda? Green tea? Thank you," in a blend of languages. Then he said, "IWATAYA?" I wasn't sure if his wife had understood that I meant I bought it in Japan, so I told him it was a store in Japan. "Oh! Thank you!"

(If you're wondering why I didn't wait until class to give it to him, it's because I wouldn't want to give a gift in front of my studiomates. Also, gifts are usually opened when the giver is gone for face-faving reasons, so I wanted to give it to him in his home so he could open it in private. However, if my parents come to visit, they will be bringing a stash of American candies with them and I'll bring them to class one night.)

I haven't been there in six class days. Master called roll, shook his head dramatically, sighed, and looked at me. I knew he was teasing me, so I just grinned and said, "I understand." He told me that he'd only let me work out one hour this week due to still being slightly bruised, but next week I'll be back up to two.

We did a lot of sprinting and Master told me to go slowly. At one point we were supposed to run across the studio, then run back backwards. I was next to Tired Guy and he was running the wrong way. I looked at him and said, "반대로!" He said, "OK!" But later he did it again. When we got back to our lines I smacked him playfully (which is a big deal, you don't do that here, but I hope I'm been here long enough that they know me well enough that it didn't make him too uncomfortable) and said, "I understand. And I don't even speak Korean!" Everyone laughed and Master did too.

Then he had us run halfway across the studio, turn to we were running backwards, turn at the end so we were still running backwards, then turn at the midway point again. Master kept saying, "앞으로, 뒤로, 뒤로, 앞으로." (Ahead, to the rear, to the rear, ahead.) Powerful and Tired Guy kept messing it up. Master called Powerful over grabbed his ear and said into it, "앞으로, 뒤로, 뒤로, 앞으로!" We were all amused.

Later he had us on the floor on our backs, hands above our head, feet facing forward. When he clapped, we had to flip forward on our stomaches, faces where our feet were, arms outstretched and yell, "Superman!" (슈퍼맨!) He said, "Amanda, you 'Wonder Woman!' Male, Superman, female, Wonder Woman." Got it Master.

Oddly enough, this is the first time I've called myself Wonder Woman.

Then we had to start the other way, on our stomachs, hands behind our backs, facing forward. When he clapped we had to flip to our backs, facing backwards, arms outstretched and yell "만세!" I asked what we were yelling, because Claire had informed me that men will do pushups or yell 만세! at weddings and it's used on a TV commercial here. Master said it went with the "Fighting!" cheer and meant, "Vicory, winning, the best." Then he said something about Japan in 1919.

I asked Heidi later. In 1919, when the Japanese occupied Korea, there was a parade where Koreans yelled 만세 in the streets. She said it means "Victory for 10,000 years." Well, a lot of Koreans were killed by the Japanese during this parade.

I know language textbooks try to include the little words and phrases that are used in a language to make the learning sound (and feel) more natural, but it's another thing to learn these words in a real context like I do here.

Later we did some relays. We got to arrange (but not choose) our teams. Since I am slow and tonight really slow, my team wanted me second. I said, "Wait! I can't be second! I always watch the first person in line, but if I'm the first person that it changes to, I have nobody to watch! So I have to be third!" (I really wasn't too concerned, since I do understand how relays work, but I didn't want to be the one to screw everything up for my team; the losing team had to do pushups.) Everyone laughed then Blue asked Master a question. Master said, "Amanda, 천천..."

Oops. I slowed down and pointed to my eyes. "Me. Watch. Me, never one. Relay, not two."

The boys understood right away and so for the first relay I was third. However, Powerful dropped it, one of our guys tripped, and we lost. Thirty pushups. Next time I was second and had problems handing it off, someone else tripped as well and even though Tired Guy did a hilarious job of sliding into the finishing line (and mirror) to beat the other team, Master declared that we lost. Forty pushups.

The next relay meant jumping over a limbo bar. We won that one. Then we had to crawl under it. I threw myself to the ground (giving myself minor floorburns in the process) but Grin knocked the pole off its supports. So neither team won and he had to do pushups. The second time the bar was lowered. It was tight for Master, so I was a little concerned. I crawled under it with Ghost in the rear and heard it clatter behind me. I jumped up and said, "Was that me?" I was ready to launch into a defense about some Wonder Woman parts I have that they don't, but luckily we were all spared, because Ghost had caused it to fall.

Unfortunately, due to a multitude of related work/school/studio issues, it is looking very likely that I will miss all of January. Arrgggg. At least I'll be able to practice as home, which I wasn't allowed to do during this time. I may ask him for two man-to-man Saturdays if possible. It solidifies some future job hunts in my mind. While I'm concerned about missing classes due to a possible black belt test, there's nothing that Master or I can do to fix it. Oh well. No use worrying about it.

This is a photo-heavy post. Not of me. Not of anyone I know.

I saw the doctor today, who said that Thursday can be my last day of therapy.

I went to physical therapy after work and got the Cute Tech Guy (I call him Tech Guy because I don't know exactly what he is) who informed me that we would be trying a new therapy today.

"It isn't 부항 is it? Because 아파요."

He smiled, "No, it's...electricity?"

My eyes widened and I just nodded slowly.

I got the standard green light therapy and heat pack therapy and then rather than the laser therapy, I got some sort of electrotherapy for 15 minutes. It was fine when it was tingling my leg—in fact it made me giggle and Cute Tech Guy told the Used to Be Rude to Me, But Isn't Anymore Lady and she peeked in on me—but then it went into deep throbbing overdrive and it felt like the four suction cups were sliding down my leg. I could not sleep and it distracted me from my book.

My leg felt like it was twitching for 15 minutes afterwards and I had big suction cup circles on it. I looked at him and said, "See! It is 부항!"

He smiled, flexed my foot back and said, "Move." I pushed hard against his hand and he said, "Are you sick?"

I looked confused? "Am I sick? No?" Then I realized he might have been asking if it hurt to flex, so I said in Korean, "Am I hurting? No."

I thanked Cute Tech Guy in Korean and he said, "Sure." A few moments later he came back. "Is 'sure' OK? You say 'thank you,' I say 'sure?'"

I said, "Well...it's like banmal," I said, talking about the familiar form of speech. "English isn't as formal as Korean—-sumnida, -yo, banmal. But 'you're welcome' would be used with -sumnida or -yo. For friends, 'no problem,' 'no worries,' 'sure.'"

He nodded. "'You're welcome?'"

"Yes, 'you're welcome.'"

Then he said, "I don't understand 'can you' 'could you?'"

I laughed, "That one is really hard."

"It means the same thing?"

"Yes, mostly. You can use 'can you' for real questions if you're not sure if the person really can do something. 'Can you speak Korean?'"

"OK."

"But... 'Can you help Amanda?' 'Could you help Amanda?' are nearly the same. 'Could you' is a little more polite, but you would be expected to do it." He started shaking his head and laughing. I know the feeling, buddy, how many words does Korean have for "very?" I said, "I would use 'can' with my students. A boss and employee, teacher and student, the senior might use 'can' more. But if I asked my boss, or if I ask a friend, I would use 'could.' Or if it's a favor."

"OK, thank you." He looked confused for a moment, "You're a teacher?"

"Yes. I taught in America for three years."

"I thought you were here..."

I smiled, "For taekwondo? I am. I teach for the E2 visa. But I have my Master's in Education."

"Master's?"

"College, 4 years, Bachelor's. Two more years, Master's."

"Oh! You are a real teacher!" I just laughed. "You come tomorrow?"

"The doctor said to come until Thursday."

"OK, see you tomorrow, Amanda!"

"See you tomorrow!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking How do I find out your name and if you're married, and we should go have lunch together.

Alas, I do not have a date with Cute Tech Guy. I do not even know his name. However, I have no shame, and tipped off by Pia, I stopped by the bookstore today to pick up this issue of Men's Health. The December issue was actually out, so in Korean (correct or not, I'm not sure) I asked, "Do you have the November issue?"

He did and he fished it out for me.

So, because Pia asked me to, and for your viewing pleasure, meet soccer player 초 재진 (Cho Jae Jin). The cover was much, much too glossy to get anything good out of it, so click the link to view it. Also, forgive any blurriness, hot spots, or weird angles, but I was using my digital camera since I don't have a scanner.

Heidi informs me that he's not that great of a player, but that his stomach is like a crab. This is a not-too-usual phrase, she says, similar to six-pack abs. 조재진 배는 가재같다 or 조재진 가재같아요.

Also, as I was flipping through the magazine, there was some spread with a baseball player, a basketball player, etc. I found this one of 김 학환 (Kim Hak Hwan is how I would Romanize that) doing some taekwondo. I have no idea who he is and don't have the mental energy (or vocabulary) to sit down and translate/figure out the article right now. However, I wish I could do great aerial kicks like this one.

Masters tend to have their favorite in-class activities, favorite kicks, favorite stretches, etc. Jumping front kicks were my American Master's favorite kick, at least for the levels I was studying with him. I love jumping front kicks, even though doing one was the one time I landed on my butt in America. I've used them in no-contact sparring here, but my current Master's beloved kick is a really good roundhouse one. (For the record, this is my worst kick!) The form I'm studying now is the first form featuring jumping kicks and Master seemed surprised at how easy there were for me. (Of course, the jumping roundhouse kicks, the shuffling forward jumping roundhouse kicks and the double jumping roundhouse kicks...ugh.)

My friend Heidi (from taekwondo) invited me to her sister's wedding today. I was very excited to go, even though my Western friends told me it was going to be really tacky, and even though I'd never met her sister.

The wedding was held in a large wedding hall, where many ceremonies are taking place at the same time. The bride and groom were dressed in Western style clothing. Later, they had a traditional ceremony in hanboks, but that was for family only.

In Korea the guests essentially pay to attend the wedding. Generally you pay 30K, 50K, or 70K won (about $30, $50, or $70) because 3, 5, and 7 are lucky numbers. So I put some money in an envelope and wrote my name on it in Korean. Then I was given my ticket to the reception meal afterwards. I was grateful that money is the standard gift here, as I would have had no clue what to buy.

Then Heidi had me join her while she was taking photos of her sister. Her sister saw me and said, "Oh! Hi, Amanda!" Here is her sister and the groom. They met in University. The dress was gorgeous and they looked beautiful together.

There was standing room only, so I stood on the bride's side while Heidi sat with her family. Heidi's friend Claire came to the ceremony and met me in the back. Heidi seemed a little concerned about taking care of me, but I said, "I'm sure she'll find me."

The ceremony itself was interesting. The mothers, dressed in hanboks, walked up first, if I recall correctly. Then the groom walked up, then the bride, and they faced each other and bowed. The officiant talked, and the only word I recognized was "love" until he said something about "Miguk Indian Apache..." I perked up, a bit surprised, but of course I have no idea what he said after that.

At the end of the ceremony, the groom did pushups while declaring that he would love the bride forever. I asked Claire if that was usual. She said yes and I said, "I love Korea." (She also said that sometimes he bows several times instead.) The ceremony itself was very short, only 20 minutes. People were chatting in the back and wandering in and out during the ceremony and this is typical.

I was warned by my friends that there would be smoke machines, strobe lights, loud music and so forth at the wedding, but there was none of that. When they were presented, there was a spotlight on them, but that was it. I thought it was tastefully done, really.

Then photos were taken. Heidi made Claire and me go up for the photo of the bride and groom with their friends. I felt a little uncomfortable since I hadn't even been formally introduced to her yet, but Heidi assured me that it was fine. This photo is the family on both sides together. I wish I had photos of the bride and groom in their hanboks, but I don't. However, you can see some family members in hanboks. (You can click this photo to get a larger picture.)

Then we went to the reception and had some food. I sat with Clair, who speaks very good English, which was nice. We were served a ton of food. Beef soup, fish, various vegetables, kimchi, traditional Korean rice cakes, noodles, galbi and green tea, beer, orange and grape soda and things I'm forgetting. When I was served my soup, the waiter looked at me and asked in English, "You like this?" I had no idea what "this" was, so I just smiled and nodded at him, "Nay." While we were eating, the traditional Korean ceremony in hanboks was taking place.

Claire asked me about American weddings. I described how they worked and how long they were. She said, "Oh! You must only invite your closest friends! So long!" I hadn't thought of it that way, but sometimes American weddings are very, very long. She also wondered if people liked the dancing and the reception more than the wedding ceremony itself.

Near the end of our meal, the bride and groom joined us. The bride approached our table, took my hand and said, "Amanda! Amanda!" I smiled, feeling like everyone was looking at me. Forget Cheers. Become the foreigner in a group of Koreans and "everyone knows your name." She said, "Um...thank you!" I grinned, "Thank you for inviting me."

Claire introduced herself, so it seems like she hadn't met the bride either. That made me feel better about the friends photograph!

Meanwhile, Heidi said, "Oh! Amanda! You use chopsticks very well!" I don't know what's in the water, but recently every Korean I know has been telling me that I use chopsticks well. I don't think I hold them exactly the correct way, but I also don't hold a pen or pencil correctly, so there you have it. At least I don't stab food with my chopsticks.

(As a side note, Korean chopsticks are usually made of metal, long, thin, and flat. It took some getting used to after eating with thick Chinese-style chopsticks in the US. Also, you simply must read this article about Korean chopsticks and golf, which declares that "the Koreans’ skill with their hands contributed to their success in cloning embryonic human stem cells." The Korea Times is the oldest English-language newspaper in Korea and pretty representative of how the news is written in Korea.)

There was no dancing, no speeches, no tinking of glasses to make the bride and groom kiss, no special table for the bride and groom to sit at. Once we were done eating, we left.

On our way out, I met Heidi's mother and father. Her mother said, "Amanda! Thank you!" Heidi giggled. Perhaps she was surprised that her mother spoke English to me? I thanked them for inviting me again.

Claire and I stood outside of the shuttle that would take us back to the subway station, chatting with Heidi. Heidi told me that my lips looks very pale. "Oh! Your lips have no color!"

I laughed, "I ate, the lipstick came off."

"No, no, are you still sick? Are you OK?"

I laughed. I said, "I love Koreans. 'You look sick!' 'You're fat!' And if they don't like you, they just don't talk to you." In all fairness, I haven't been told I'm fat too much and never by Heidi.

She said, "No! No, but you were sick!" I said I understood. She knew I was very sick yesterday so she was worried about me. I demanded her compact and reapplied my lipstick to make her happy. Really, she was right. My lips usually have some color on their own; they were looking pretty pale.

It was all over in less than 2 hours.

When I got home, Heidi was online. She thanked me for coming and I thanked her again for inviting me. Heidi's a good friend. I'm glad I met her. She's going to Hong Kong for a few months. I'll miss her!