Amanda Takes Off...

My friend Heidi (from taekwondo) invited me to her sister's wedding today. I was very excited to go, even though my Western friends told me it was going to be really tacky, and even though I'd never met her sister.

The wedding was held in a large wedding hall, where many ceremonies are taking place at the same time. The bride and groom were dressed in Western style clothing. Later, they had a traditional ceremony in hanboks, but that was for family only.

In Korea the guests essentially pay to attend the wedding. Generally you pay 30K, 50K, or 70K won (about $30, $50, or $70) because 3, 5, and 7 are lucky numbers. So I put some money in an envelope and wrote my name on it in Korean. Then I was given my ticket to the reception meal afterwards. I was grateful that money is the standard gift here, as I would have had no clue what to buy.

Then Heidi had me join her while she was taking photos of her sister. Her sister saw me and said, "Oh! Hi, Amanda!" Here is her sister and the groom. They met in University. The dress was gorgeous and they looked beautiful together.

There was standing room only, so I stood on the bride's side while Heidi sat with her family. Heidi's friend Claire came to the ceremony and met me in the back. Heidi seemed a little concerned about taking care of me, but I said, "I'm sure she'll find me."

The ceremony itself was interesting. The mothers, dressed in hanboks, walked up first, if I recall correctly. Then the groom walked up, then the bride, and they faced each other and bowed. The officiant talked, and the only word I recognized was "love" until he said something about "Miguk Indian Apache..." I perked up, a bit surprised, but of course I have no idea what he said after that.

At the end of the ceremony, the groom did pushups while declaring that he would love the bride forever. I asked Claire if that was usual. She said yes and I said, "I love Korea." (She also said that sometimes he bows several times instead.) The ceremony itself was very short, only 20 minutes. People were chatting in the back and wandering in and out during the ceremony and this is typical.

I was warned by my friends that there would be smoke machines, strobe lights, loud music and so forth at the wedding, but there was none of that. When they were presented, there was a spotlight on them, but that was it. I thought it was tastefully done, really.

Then photos were taken. Heidi made Claire and me go up for the photo of the bride and groom with their friends. I felt a little uncomfortable since I hadn't even been formally introduced to her yet, but Heidi assured me that it was fine. This photo is the family on both sides together. I wish I had photos of the bride and groom in their hanboks, but I don't. However, you can see some family members in hanboks. (You can click this photo to get a larger picture.)

Then we went to the reception and had some food. I sat with Clair, who speaks very good English, which was nice. We were served a ton of food. Beef soup, fish, various vegetables, kimchi, traditional Korean rice cakes, noodles, galbi and green tea, beer, orange and grape soda and things I'm forgetting. When I was served my soup, the waiter looked at me and asked in English, "You like this?" I had no idea what "this" was, so I just smiled and nodded at him, "Nay." While we were eating, the traditional Korean ceremony in hanboks was taking place.

Claire asked me about American weddings. I described how they worked and how long they were. She said, "Oh! You must only invite your closest friends! So long!" I hadn't thought of it that way, but sometimes American weddings are very, very long. She also wondered if people liked the dancing and the reception more than the wedding ceremony itself.

Near the end of our meal, the bride and groom joined us. The bride approached our table, took my hand and said, "Amanda! Amanda!" I smiled, feeling like everyone was looking at me. Forget Cheers. Become the foreigner in a group of Koreans and "everyone knows your name." She said, "Um...thank you!" I grinned, "Thank you for inviting me."

Claire introduced herself, so it seems like she hadn't met the bride either. That made me feel better about the friends photograph!

Meanwhile, Heidi said, "Oh! Amanda! You use chopsticks very well!" I don't know what's in the water, but recently every Korean I know has been telling me that I use chopsticks well. I don't think I hold them exactly the correct way, but I also don't hold a pen or pencil correctly, so there you have it. At least I don't stab food with my chopsticks.

(As a side note, Korean chopsticks are usually made of metal, long, thin, and flat. It took some getting used to after eating with thick Chinese-style chopsticks in the US. Also, you simply must read this article about Korean chopsticks and golf, which declares that "the Koreans’ skill with their hands contributed to their success in cloning embryonic human stem cells." The Korea Times is the oldest English-language newspaper in Korea and pretty representative of how the news is written in Korea.)

There was no dancing, no speeches, no tinking of glasses to make the bride and groom kiss, no special table for the bride and groom to sit at. Once we were done eating, we left.

On our way out, I met Heidi's mother and father. Her mother said, "Amanda! Thank you!" Heidi giggled. Perhaps she was surprised that her mother spoke English to me? I thanked them for inviting me again.

Claire and I stood outside of the shuttle that would take us back to the subway station, chatting with Heidi. Heidi told me that my lips looks very pale. "Oh! Your lips have no color!"

I laughed, "I ate, the lipstick came off."

"No, no, are you still sick? Are you OK?"

I laughed. I said, "I love Koreans. 'You look sick!' 'You're fat!' And if they don't like you, they just don't talk to you." In all fairness, I haven't been told I'm fat too much and never by Heidi.

She said, "No! No, but you were sick!" I said I understood. She knew I was very sick yesterday so she was worried about me. I demanded her compact and reapplied my lipstick to make her happy. Really, she was right. My lips usually have some color on their own; they were looking pretty pale.

It was all over in less than 2 hours.

When I got home, Heidi was online. She thanked me for coming and I thanked her again for inviting me. Heidi's a good friend. I'm glad I met her. She's going to Hong Kong for a few months. I'll miss her!