Amanda Takes Off...

Saturday was Children's Day in Korea. Parents give children small gifts and they play and spend the day together. Now, I think every day up until the kids start elementary school is children's day in Korea. After that, it's Get To Work Now, Study All the Time and Never Play day. Then they get to college and it's Party and Drink Until You're Stupid day.

Today is Parents' Day in Korea. Ghost told me he's giving his parents socks, probably because his uncle (mother's sister's husband) owns the sock shop.

Last night Master didn't teach class at all. He popped in long enough to tell me that we'd start English lessons next Tuesday. We did some sprinting drills, target practice, and poomsae work.

During the break, Ghost helped me with my Korean homework. At the end of each Sogang level, there's a section on accuracy (writing exercises) and a section of fluency (speaking exercises). The fluency section has about a dozen sections of questions. Your name and family, where you live, why you study Korean, comparing your home country and Korea, what you do in free time, travel plans, etc. I photocopied that section. Sunday YJ chose a few sections randomly to drill me on. H chose different sections randomly. Yesterday Ghost went straight through the un-checked sections and spoke with me. Ghost spoke very quickly, much quicker than YJ or H, which was good for me because I truly had to pick out just the key words.

After class I ran down to Master's office to give him the CDs I'd made. Then I found out why he wasn't teaching the class.

His mother was standing there. I've met her once and seen her once more in passing. She said something to me very quickly. I understood "Master's daughter...Amanda...drinking."

Master asked if I wanted to stay for dinner and soju. I think his daughter told his mother I should stay?

One: Drinking in Korea is a seen as a way to form tighter social bonds. I knew that if I declined—especially a first invitation—it could very well have been seend as a slight.

Two: Invitations in Korea are often last-minute. I'm getting used to this.

Three: I also knew we'd be drinking and eating past train time.

Combining these three factors, but knowing I had no money for a taxi, I said, "Yes, I can stay, but I have to meet a friend. I have to give her a book. Give me ten minutes." I ran to the ATM and got some cash.

When I returned, Master asked if I knew what jokbal was. Yes, I've had it once. It's pig's legs. It's an interesting thing to eat because it's very fatty and gelatinous and the skin is sort of crunchy.

I went into the kitchen and his father told me where to sit. Master explained that Tuesday was Parents' Day but that his parents were very busy, so they were celebrating with dinner last night instead of today.

Shortly after I sat down, Master's Brother arrived. I was sitting facing the door to the kitchen. I've met Master's Brother's wife once, very briefly, mostly in darkness, when I passed them on the street together. She saw me and was obviously surprised. I have a feeling that any non-family member—Korean or Western—would have surprised her.

I was sitting at one end of the table, Master's Father on my right and his Mother to my left. Master satnext to his father and Master's Brother sat next to his mother.

I have been told that traditionally, daughters-in-law sit in the kitchen and waited until the men (and sometimes unmarried daughters) finish eating. Then they got the leftovers of whatever was eaten. The eldest-son's-wife has an especially hard job as generally the whole family will converge upon her house and she's in charge of cooking all of the food.

(Master's Brother is the eldest son, but if I understand correctly, the house Master lives in was the house he grew up in, so I think when his parents come over, they go to that house. I think they generally go to his parents' house for the big holidays.)

Knowing this, where were the wives? In the next room, playing with the three children. At the very end of our meal they reappeared, not eat what little food was left over, but to cook more food for us to eat.

It was interesting to see family dynamics at play as a guest. Even more interesting because of some things his parents said to me...

Master asked if I remembered the Soju Rules. I said, "I hope so. Help me, OK?"

I remembered to use two hands for everything, which was probably the most important part. At one point I missed that his father's glass was empty (and it would have been my job to pour it since I was the youngest) but Master passed me a bottle so I took care of it. Meanwhile, Master's Mother topped off my glass even though I was taught not to. Master even said, "She has some soju," but he mother disagreed.

His father was heaping food into my dish (using his own chopsticks, my mom would freak) and his mother even fed me straight from her chopsticks twice ("Is your mother trying to feed me?" I asked in English).

Master's Mother is hilarious. She was speaking so quickly to me. Master would say, "You need to slow down, she doesn't understand. She's still learning!"

His mother taught me a cheer to use with people younger than you. Master said, "No, Amanda, cancel, OK? Cancel." But his mother made me say it with her.

His mother was also a huge fan of "one shot." "One shot, OK? One shot."

Master would say, "Amanda, slowly, OK?" and I'd say "half shot."

His mother would break in, "OK, but next time, one shot."

Master's Father is a bit quieter, but he was amusing me, too. He asked when I was going to go back to America. I said I wasn't sure. I explained that life in America is easy, so it's boring. Life in Korea is difficult, so it's interesting.

Master told them what was going on with my job. As I've said before, I like it when he retells stories I know because I can keep up with him. He even remembered to tell them that I never got an apology from my old boss. They were disgusted. Master's Father said he hoped my economy was good. I figured this meant my money situation.

Master's Father asked why I liked taekwondo and I said I didn't know. He kept asking. I said, "I understand, but I just like it." Then I said, "Master is a very good man. And so I like it. And outside of the studio, I am always a foreigner. Inside of the studio, I am just Amanda." Master helped explain that one a bit for me.

Master's Father said, "You have a good Kwanjangnim."

"I know." I just nodded my head.

It was interesting to watch Master interact with his family and me. He was translating—from Korean to korean—what I was saying and what his family was saying. It was neat. Much of the time they understood me or I understood them mostly, but I wanted to double-check a lot because I didn't want to make a fool out of myself.

At some point Master's Mother explained that I was a daughter to her. She said, "I have no daughters. So you are my daughter. Like my sons' wives."

His father also said that I was a daughter to him, and his father told me that I was very lucky to be part of "Tongil Nambuk taekwondo family," and that there was only one "taekwondo family" in our city and very few in Korea.

The way they were talking...it felt very good. It felt like they meant it. Long ago, I felt like Master alternated between being Kwanjangnim, a mentor, a friend, and a big brother. Lately especially, I have felt like his family (wife and children) are my family. Being invited to eat dinner and have soju with his parents and brother made me really feel like part of their family.

This is part of the reason I am so excited my mom and stepdad are coming: they'll get to see the people that make me feel like Korea is another home.

Then, his father said that since it was our first time drinking together, he would pay for my taxi ride home. I wanted to argue but he's Master's Father and our studio president so I decided against it. I wanted to say "you're very generous" but I keep mixing up "geneous" and "jealous," so I decided to just bow deeply and say "thank you."

Soju and being adopted. Happy Korean Parents' Day to me...