Amanda Takes Off...

Junks in Halong Bay

Goods for Sale in Halong Bay

I am sick of travel talk.

Last night a very blonde woman was spouting off on the couch in the common area of my hostel about how bad kimchi smells when it's cooked. She was talking like she was an expert, even though she'd said she'd never eaten it.

I had to stop her.

"Cooked? You mean when it's being made?"

She gave me a snotty look. "No. When it's cooking, when they cook the stuff to make kimchi."

"Kimchi isn't cooked."

"I have a Korean friend."

Wow! Did she want an award for befriending a Yellow Person? I smiled and said, "Hanguk namchin isseoyo. Hangukae salayo." She stared at me. "I have a Korean boyfriend. I live in Korea. Kimchi is not cooked. It is sometimes grilled or added into rice dishes that are cooked, but you don't cook anything to make kimchi."

"Oh."

This morning, at breakfast, a man asked me where I was from. "The States, but I live in South Korea. I'm 26, I'm a teacher, I'm only here for a week, yes I'm alone, yes I have a boyfriend, yes I am loyal to him."

He burst out laughing.

"Sorry, sick of travel talk. Let's skip to something else."

"Uh...OK, what sort of music do you like?"

"U2."

I met two girls, Ashley and Elicia, a few days ago. Both are solo traveling. Ashley and I went to Halong Bay together, where she graciously let me borrow her digital camera since mine is obviously sending out death rattles.

Of course, in good Travel Friends fashion, while in Halong Bay, Ashley and I opened up fairly quickly about personal things. Something about traveling makes people open their mouths in ways they otherwise wouldn't.

We chatted quite a bit about relationships, past ones. Relaxing on the top deck of our junk was so peaceful. Looking out at the jade green sea. Seeing stars for the first time in over a year! Lost in thought.

I reflected on past relationships, wondered what in the world I was thinking at the time. I remember wanting to study abroad and not doing it because my now-long-gone-ex didn't want me to. I had a boyfriend who only want to see me on his time table. Another I constantly questioned—with good reason, as I later found out. Why did I do things that made my gut twist, or flip, or knot at the time? Why did I try to convince myself that it was what I wanted? Why did I second-guess myself when I really knew?

I was thinking a lot about the Current State of Affairs and My Current Level of Fun and Happiness.

The period before I met Good Man was the longest I'd been single (and also not really dating anyone even casually) in ten years. I had lived alone in the States, but getting evicted, living alone in a foreign country...

These things lead to a dichotomous state. It made me both more independent (getting through language barriers) and more trusting and dependent (hello, crying on Master's shoulder, or living on my friends' couch for 6 weeks).

It also made me more flexible (trying to understand Korean culture) but also a bit more stubborn in that I'm less willing to put up with annoying behavior from other people, especially if the end result is that I'm not having fun.

I think being single was a Very Good Thing.

This morning Ashley, Elicia and I woke up at 5:45 to head over to the nearby lake, Hoan Kiem. It was very neat to get up so early, so see the city quiet, but waking up.

Vietnamese people get up very early, and it seemed like everyone was at the lake. Old people, middle aged people, young people, children. They were walking around the lake, doing tai chi solo and in small groups, playing badminton, fishing, weight lifting, doing aerobics in groups (sometimes of 60 or more!). We saw two small dogs, tied to each other with a shoelace string, lapping the lake without an owner! Women were selling things from baskets hanging off of wooden poles. People were praying at the temple.

It was peaceful and relaxing to see how Vietnam wakes up.

Hoan Kiem Lake, 6:30 am

As we were walking, I said, "Wow, there are some hot Vietnamese men."

My companions gave me looks that indicated they didn't agree with me. "Um..."

"Seriously. I had to live in Korea for a bit before I tuned my eye to Korean men. I bet if I lived here, I'd find even more hot men."

They still didn't agree, but a few moments later, we passed some men who were lifting weights. One of them gestured that we could try it. We declined and walked on. I looked at them. "See?"

I went to the Museum of Ethnology today. It was mostly about the indigenous people of Vietnam, but I was more interested in the display they had about life under the coupon-distribution system.

They showed a house for a family of seven...it was only slightly bigger than my current apartment.

The exhibit talked about how important a bicycle was to someone, about a woman who bought left over elastic threads and then knit a sweater with them, about taking the alloted rice home and discovering it wasn't moldy and being happy for a whole day.

It was fascinating.

I was chatting online later with Good Man. I wanted to know what he wanted from Vietnam.

Good Man: What's a cool thing in Vietnam?

Me: Communism.

Good Man: Haha.

Me: You think I'm kidding. Communism keeps this country poor and thus cheap to travel in.

Good Man: I rather choose social liberalism.

Me: Socialism is expensive.