Amanda Takes Off...

I hate buying gifts for people in foreign countries. I hate bargaining. I hate all of it and appreciate my friends who don't get upset with me when I don't come back with something for them.

Actual conversation, Hanoi, about 11:30.

Me: I need a t-shirt for my boyfriend.

Shopkeeper, rummaging for a very big shirt: OK, American, very big man.

Me: No, he's not Ameri—

Shopkeeper, eyes me as she smiles slowly: Oh! Boyfriend black man? Very very big.

Me: No, he's Korean, I need it my size.

Shopkeeper, stares at me: I thought boyfriend.

Me, wondering why I had to say "boyfriend": Yes. Korean. Asian.

Shopkeeper: Korean but America? In America? Eat like American?

Me: No. I live in Korea. My boyfriend is Korean— Shopkeeper tries to talk over me and I ignore her. He is my size. If it fits me, it will fit him.

I finally got the damn shirt.

Conversation over breakfast.

Random Man: So, what are you doing today?

Me: Buying gifts. I have a flight tonight/tomorrow at 12:45 am. I love traveling, but the last few days always suck. I'm ready to be in my own bed, on my own subway system, using my own money...

Random Man: Speaking English.

Me, thoroughly confused: What? I am speaking English.

Random Man: No, at home.

Me: Ah! No, I live in South Korea.

Random Man, laughs: Ah, no wonder you were confused. Damn, that's cool, how long you been there?