Amanda Takes Off...

Finally made it to taekwondo tonight. This is the second class I've made this month. Week-long job orientations out of the city, anniversaries, old friends leaving Korean, new friends coming to Korea, colds... I've been busy.

"Long time, no see!"

"Ugh, Master," I said in Korean, "I have a cold. Last week I met so many foreigners, and they all brought their..." I had to say one word in English, "'germs?' You know 'germs'? They all brought their germs from their foreign countries and I got sick. And because it's raining, I'm in a bad mood. And Master...many foreigners are crazy."

Master laughed and said, "I know, you're not a foreigner, you're Korean, I tell you that!"

Class was great, poomse work, drills, and some light contact sparring. I was drenched in sweat by the end of it.

After class I stopped by Master's office. His daughter was hilarious. She told me she wanted to see my parents, where were they and when would they come back? That happened in May, and she remembers it. Yet she is adamant that she didn't meet Good Man in August.

I told Master that I thought I should drop back to three or four classes a week. "Why?" Asking that so bluntly in English is rude, not so much in Korean.

I crumpled up my nose, because I wasn't sure how to explain it to him. I said, "In December, January...March, my life in Korea was bad. My job was bad, my house was small and uncomfortable. My friends lived far away. Taekwondo was good. All bad, but taekwondo was good." I went on. "Now, I have a good job, comfortable house. I met some new friends last week who live near me. And I have a boyfriend." He laughed and I blushed.* "So my life in Korea is good. And I am very busy now. Do you understand?"

He nodded and said he did, but I'm not sure if he entirely understood. When I started doing taekwondo here, three days a week, it was more for exercise and fun. Then my jobs, one hogwon job after the other, went from bad to worse, as I got fired from the first job and left jobless, homeless, and without a paycheck because of a non-salary-paying bad boss at the second job. I was homesick, I spoke even less Korean than I do now. I had only a few friends in Korea, and they were busy and lived far away. As things got worse, taekwondo filled up more and more of my time.

Taekwondo was my glue. It was the one really good thing going on for me in Korea, and on Really Good Taekwondo Days it balanced out the bad, while on Not So Great Days it still greatly negated the bad. I needed to go to taekwondo five nights a week to keep myself together.

Life in Korea With a Bad Job

Now, however, things are a lot more stable. I have no major complaints about my job. I've made some friends that live nearer to me and are on the same work schedule. I still speak an abysmal amount of Korean, but getting around and dealing with things is easier. I am not nearly as homesick because I'm more settled. The bad is greatly, greatly outweighed by the good. But now that good isn't limited to taekwondo and I need to find a new balance of all the good. I need to re-balance taekwondo's place in my life.

Life in Korea With a Good Job

I have been missing class lately to meet friends, to go on dates, to just relax in my own home. I hate making up lies each time I miss class, but can't easily use a "studying" excuse the way my studiomates can. I thought telling the truth would free me from the guilt I feel when I don't make it to class five nights a week or when I lie. And I thought it was more respectful to tell him the truth.

But I'm not sure that it made him very happy.

I know other martial artists go through the same thing—the amount of time alloted to their art changing over time. How do they deal with possibly disappointed instructors?

* Note: I don't think not having a boyfriend before was bad; had I thought that, I would've done taekwondo less and put an effort into dating. But since Good Man is a good thing, I put it in there. Also, because I know someone will assume it, Good Man has not asked me to adjust any of my schedule or to compromise myself. He really is a Good Man.