Amanda Takes Off...

Ahh, Black Friday. A day I do not miss.

I was a retail slave (albeit part-time) from the time I was 15 until the time I was 22, so I have a lot of horror stories about the day after Thanksgiving. But my favorite is from when I was 20, and working at Best Buy.

I was the Best Buy Idea Box mascot at 6 am.

The box sits on your shoulders. You see through some black mesh in the Bs. You're wearing tights, and felt shoes over your regular shoes. It was very uncomfortable, but I was getting paid time and a half.

1) That box is huge. 2) That box is hot. 3) That box is heavy. 4) Hot and heavy equals friction (no matter where you are). 5) Friction equals heat rash. 6) Heat rash equals not worth what happened while I was The Box.

I was standing at the entrance, handing out free little Idea Box Santa Clause beanie babies when it happened.

Ever heard of eMachines? They are (or at least, they were at the time) a very low-cost computer. They're also the sole brand that was returned within its 14 day return period constantly, without fail.

Some internet company made a deal with Best Buy. If someone signed up for 3 years of service with them, they'd get a $400 rebate on their computer. And what was the Black Friday price of those eMachines? You've got it.

Everyone wanted a free computer. (A horrible, horrible deal. A crappy computer with overpriced dial-up internet service that you're locked into for 3 years. Never underestimate the stupidity of comsumers.)

So at 6 am, bleary eyes, beanie toy in hand, the doors opened.

And wham!

I was on the ground.

Whoa.

What happened?

An evil woman knocked me over in order to get to a really crappy computer.

And did she help me up? Oh no, of course not.

So I was on the floor, on my back. In a foam box that went far below my butt, hence making it nearly impossible to get up.

Legs and arms waving in the air.

Like a bug.

I hope her computer melted down and set her house on fire.