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I Could've Done Better

05/28/08

Permalink 01:25:09 pm, by admin Email , 540 words   English (US)
Categories: ...and Takes On, Korea

I Could've Done Better

So yesterday was my last day at work. I see my third and fourth graders once a week, fifth and sixth graders twice a week. So since last week, we've been giving them time at the end of class to write good bye notes to me.

Some of them are really funny, some are really touching.

And then yesterday, a fifth grader who rarely talks, who almost never has his book or a pencil, wrote me this card. Everyone else used markers and crayons, he used only his pencil.

happy Korea
happy Canada
goodbye

I am not from Canada. This shows you how much he pays attention. In fact, when I got it, I teased him about it. "Canada? Me?" He blushed and I gave him a half-shoulder hug. I only read the inside of the card after he left.

Hellow Amanda
I'm chan hee
after before very nut like
English
after very like English
because you teach very
well
I love you
Tank you
goodbye

before teacher is
not very teach very
much
but you is very very
great
English time very
happy und very great
good bye Amanda
good bye

Chan hee

When I read it after class, I was able to hold back the tears. When I got home and showed Good Man, I couldn't stop crying.

He wrote that without any help. One of my many no-book, no-pencil, no-talking students wrote that. We told them they could write in Korean, and yet he wrote that. All of that.

Why didn't I know he could do that? Why didn't I see it?

I was bawling, "[Good Man], I could've done more! I could've done better! I could've taught more!"

"You're a great teacher, Amanda, they like you. In elementary school, English is not tested, it's to introduce them to foreigners and English and to have fun, he remembers you," Good Man said. "You did a great job. You don't need to cry. He will have good memories of English and foreigners because of you."

My first year as a teacher, I had a student give me a handmade bracelet. It was your typical fifth grade girl craft bracelet. Sort of like the pasta necklace I gave my grandma for her 50th birthday (which, 10 years later, she still had in her fine jewelry box).

"Here, Ms.," she said. "I want to give this to you. I gave it to my mom."

"Oh, then, hon, you should—"

"But she said she would never wear it and gave it back to me."

I tried to hide my shock and slipped it on my wrist, "Well I will wear it."

She touched my heart and broke it in the same moment.

This card did the same, because I want to shout "MY GOD, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? YOU'RE AWESOME!" from the school courtyard, and yet I ask myself, "Why didn't I know he could do that? What if I'd known? What could we have done then?"

Did I do enough for these kids? All... 700+? Did I teach them any English? Did I make them less afraid of foreigners? Did I make them think, just a little?

Did they learn half as much from me as I learned from them?

5 comments

Comment from: Robbin [Visitor]
I'm amazed that you even went overseas. I can tell that you care - and as near as I can tell, it's the caring that makes the difference between good teachers and excellent ones. Amanda Teacher is the best movie I have seen in a while - and it's based on a true story :D
05/28/08 @ 14:18
Comment from: Wanda [Visitor]
I agree with Robbin. You do care. We all have a memory of a teacher from our childhood that touched our lives. You touched hishs heart and he will remember you forever. BTW, the card me tear up.
05/29/08 @ 03:49
Comment from: Joanne [Visitor] · http://www.joanneseiff.blogspot.com
This is one of the things about teaching I only learned when I was leaving a classroom. I had a couple of those heartrending notes, too...in each place. Those are the ones from the silent kids in the back who pour out their hearts and made me cry. I think good teaching/teachers make a huge difference, no matter what the topic is. You will never know who has been affected by you, and how. You will just have to wait and see. I've had old students find me again and tell me...and I've even had one of my teachers contact me. We, as teachers and students, make big differences in each others' lives. Please ask Good Man to give you a hug from me. Thank you for doing such a good job and being such a good teacher!!
05/29/08 @ 04:13
so the rumor i started about you being canadian made it all the way to korea.

i am particularly impressed with chan hee's *illustration* of canada.
05/29/08 @ 04:20
Comment from: Mom [Visitor]
Very sweet. A good memory for both of you!
05/31/08 @ 17:20

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An American educator moves moved to Korea, presumably to teach English. Instead she discovers discovered that learning Korean one taekwondo class at a time is was a more captivating activity.

Somewhere along the way, she met a Good Man, fell in love, and ended up back in the States. Still doing taekwondo, still learning Korean...

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