Amanda Takes Off...

One of the joys (and hardships) of teaching the ultimate grade in a school is hormones, testing, middle school woes, graduation, and end-of-the-year parties. I've taught the last grade in (American) schools for five years now and no matter if it's fifth grade or sixth grade, you run into the same problems.

Hormones

This true conversation I witnessed last year should illustrate this problem perfectly.

Last Year's Grade Level Partner: I have a yes or no question for you. I simply want you to answer 'yes' or 'no.' Do you understand?

Student: Yes.

Last Year's Grade Level Partner: Were you kissing [Grade Level Hottie] in the closet yesterday?

Student, long pause: During class?

Last Year's Grade Level Partner: Yes or no question.

Student: During school?

Testing

"Why do we have math when we already did the SOL?"

"We still have to do Language Arts? Oh, come on!"

School should end three days after the state tests are done. End of story.

Middle School Woes

Inevitably, after the spring visit to the middle school (which usually involves a tour and course selection afterward), the students have mentally checked out. Their Nearly-Teenager status changes into Completely Teenager status and you get a lot of dramatic sighing and "I'm too cool for this place" attitudes.

Yet, the students are terrified of middle school and don't want to admit it. So they're all putting on these cool attitudes, but inside they're shaking.

Graduation

Graduation is a terror. The students suddenly forget how to walk. It takes four times more practice than it should. Every year, the teachers tear out their hair with worry that the kids will look incompetent at graduation. Inevitably, they suddenly get it together when it actually counts.

Of course, at least two girls will show up wearing completely inappropriate clothing, six girls will show up in too much makeup, and five boys will show up in trashed pants or a dingy undershirt, thus necesitating an emergency run to Marshall's or the clothing closet by the administration, in search of something—anything—to wear.

And then, I cry. And cry.

End of the Year Trips and Parties

When I taught (fifth grade) in Georgia, we went on a day-long trip to Tennessee. It was always a blast, but exhausting. We had the right to exclude real behavior problem students, but I was always annoyed that we left late because someone couldn't or wouldn't show up on time. We said we would leave at 7:00 sharp, but never did, which meant the visit to the child's science museum (one of the coolest parts of the trip) was always short.

The students would show up with tons of junk food for the coach trip to Tennessee. The teachers would fall asleep at the IMAX movie and on the way home and the students would ask how we could possibly be so tired.

Still, it was a delight.

At this school we usually have a day-long party. Every other grade gets a half-day party, and the sixth graders are supposed to get a full-day party. But last year it was miserable. You just can't keep 12 year-old kids entertained for a full day at school. This year we were asked to do a three-hour "lock-in" instead.

It was planned by the PTA with little input from us (they actually wanted to go to a water park, which requires all sorts of hoop-jumping, and they announced it without finding out about any of the hoop-jumping!).

I dreaded it. Of five years of teaching, this group of students has been the worst for end-of-the-year-behavior. They've been terrible. And we weren't allowed to tell students they couldn't come.

Well, the lock-in was yesterday and it was wonderful. The kids pigged out on food and played Wii and danced, made friendship bracelets and painted hats with puff paint.

Two students challenged me to Wii. I beat Dead Meat on round one of Wii boxing and then he knocked me out in round two. (Ouch.) A child who is one of the most... spoiled kids on the grade challenged me next. I went three rounds and beat him each time.

When I finished everyone cheered, I gave him a high-five (it was close) and turned to the principal, who laughed and said, "I saw you get out months of frustration right there."

Yeah, and it was like target practice at taekwondo. My shoulders still ache!

The students had claimed they were going to slow dance. Fairy Godmother and I laughed, knowing full well they would never do that. Instead, it was dance tunes the whole way.

Toward the end of the party, "Boom Boom Pow" was playing and we were all in a circle and one of my quieter students suddenly started break dancing! We were in so surprised. Who knew he could do that? And even better! Even better! Our new principal joined him.

The teachers were in shock. None of us had ever seen anything like it.

At one point, almost everyone on the grade was jumping around, screaming and shouting and dancing to "I've Gotta Feeling." And in that moment, all of the frustration I've felt toward my students for the last month just melted away. Fairy Godmother, a resource teacher, and I were with the students jumping and dancing and there was just such an energy.

I've gotta feeling that I will miss these kids. And I will cry at graduation.

Even if they've been making me crazy.