Amanda Takes Off...

Yesterday Master posted told me this on Facebook.

아만다 잘 자내죠? 한국은 오늘이 설날이에요. 떡국먹는날. 아만다[가] 떡국 맛있게 만들어줘요~

Amanda are you well? Today it's Korean New Year. It's the day we eat rice cake soup. Amanda make some delicious rice cake soup.

Of course, Korea's a half a day ahead, so today it's Lunar New Year Eve. But I didn't need Master to tell me what day it was! I had already bought some (brown!) rice cake disks for soup.

We were originally going to have some for lunch, but long story short, it ended up becoming an early dinner. Diana, Min Gi, and the baby came over. Mark was picking up his lover at the airport, and couldn't come over for lunch, but when the schedule got messed up, they were able to come over for dinner.

The Spread

We had rice cake soup, mushroom bibimbap, spicy tofu, king oyster mushrooms, cucumbers, Asian pears, and dried seaweed. In this picture the table was set for four, but when we added two place settings and some wine, it was a true Korean spread, with dishes completely covering the table.

Good Man and Mark

Good Man found an interesting article with historical information about the military/dictatorship government, US puppet government, and Japanese colonizers government trying to get rid of Seollal.

The cartoon below (from 1980) shows most people walking toward "modernization" and "solar new year" and only a few people walking toward "lunar new year."

As a piece of trivia, 2012 is the Year of the Dragon (specifically the water element), although in Kazakhstan it's the Year of the...Snail.

Happy new year!

Shortly after my arrival in Korea, Mother and I went to Bukchon Hanok Village together so I could go to an embroidery museum (specifically Han Sangsu Embroidery Museum).

I don't know why I'd never made it out to Bukchon before. It's easy to get to, right off of Anguk Station on the orange line.

The hanok village is an area of Seoul where hanoks were protected. I adore hanoks and really want to live in one, so I enjoyed wandering around.

At the museum, I was able to buy a kit to do some embroidery. The instructor only spoke Korean, but I was able to keep up with what she was saying. She thought Mother was there to interpret but quickly realized she wasn't.

Practicing Embroidery

Mother and the instructor rattled on and on about where they were from (the instructor was from Jejudo if I remember correctly), their kids, why Good Man and I don't have kids...

I practiced listening, only interjecting occasionally. Finally, the instructor said, "Mother? Why do you keep calling her mother?"

"Oh, I'm her mother-in-law."

"Ahhhhh, wow! You must be so happy to have a daughter-in-law who studies Korean."

"No, no," I said, "I don't speak it well." If there's one thing I can do in Korean, it's put myself down like a good Korean.

A Kimono

French Knots!

Dragon Motif

The museum had a no photography sign (which I only saw as we were leaving), but I asked for permission, and like always, it was granted. The museum was small but full of really beautiful embroidery samples.

The flower made up entirely of French knots was gorgeous! My French knots are terrible, so I won't be making that any time soon...

Embroidery in Progress

There was also a room in the back area where a woman was working in an embroidery project, and several other projects could be seen in progress. Mother wanted me to pose and pretend I was do it, but I said, "It's not my work!" The instructor merely chuckled, but I couldn't take credit for this perfection!

Old and New

Are those skylights in this photo? Interesting...

Hanoks

Lotus Flowers

Pinecone in a Hole in the Wall

President Lee Myung-Bak's Childhood Home

After I'd gotten the gist of the embroidery (but not finished my hankie), we explored the area some more. At one point, a Japanese-speaking tour guide and an English-speaking tour guide walked past us. (I saw some more later when Sister and I went shopping. Who are these wandering tour guides? Did they exist when I lived in Seoul?)

Mother rapidly said something, and the English-speaking tour guide grabbed my map and said, "Ohhhh, maybe you need an English one." I didn't correct her, and she said, "So she says you want to visit Lee Myung-Bak's old home?"

I looked at Mother, then back at the guide. "I guess I do..."

The whole time we were walking to the home, Mother thought I was going in the wrong direction. "Mother, I speak English. She spoke English, I know where I am going."

When we got there, it was actually two homes right next to each other that he'd lived in. Mother whistled low and said, "Our president grew up rich."

Teddy's Hung Out to Dry

맑은하늘길
(Clear/Bright Sky Drive)

We were walking along 맑은하늘길 which sort of runs along the side of a mountain. We needed to get back down and I headed down these stairs. They are far steeper than they look (darn the cloudy day with no shadows) and Mother balked. "Amanda! It is so steep!"

(I didn't see the traffic cone on the roof when I took the photo.)

Doorway

We made it down to a patjuk (red bean paste porridge) restaurant and on the way, I saw this mask hanging on a wall, and these tiles built into a building. The bright colors of the mask, and the lines of the tiles really caught my eye.

Mask

Tiles

Sister popped up on Google Chat:

언니 미국 가서 오빠방이 허전하다...

Since you went to America, [Good Man]'s room feels empty.

"How was Korea?"

Friends, coworkers, parents of former students... It hasn't mattered who's asked, my answer has been, "Interesting. Good, but interesting."

After one week in Korea, Mother and I got into a massive, massive argument. I didn't blog about it then because I needed distance from it. I also needed time, to see how things would end up.

I'm also not going to blog about the argument in detail now because the details aren't important. But the long and short of it is that I knowingly, and intentionally, acted American and she continued to act Korean (which isn't surprising).

Sister (bless her) acted as a go-between the evening before Mother and I hashed everything out. I thanked her later, because I am pretty sure she was able to explain my thinking to Mother before I explained it again the next morning. (Sister doesn't speak much English, but she and I wrote notes to each other in Korean about it.)

When Mother and I did hash it, I said things to her that I would never have gotten away with if I were a native speaker. (Such as "Don't talk when I am talking. Korean is hard and I need time.")

I didn't apologize, and she didn't apologize. And in this case, there was no need to. Mother thought she did no wrong, and I thought I did no wrong. And both of us were right. As a Korean, acting Korean, she did no wrong. As an American, acting American, I did no wrong.

Once we worked everything out, things got back to normal fairly quickly. In fact, I think things were even better. I think we understood each other more after the conflict, and I suspect fighting and then working through it together (rather than ignoring it) strengthened our relationship.

Before I came to Korea, Mother told me that if I did what she said, we wouldn't fight. I told her that if we did fight, she would win, because she speaks Korean. In this case she was right, but I was wrong: we both won.

So. Was my five-week trip to Korea a mistake?

I got to see places I'd never seen in Korea before.

I practiced so much Korean that when I got back, I found it easier to tell Good Man a story in Korean than in English. When I was done he said, "Wow, your Korean..."

I was able to visit Master, and meet with my Jeonju friends. I even met some other people I'd only known through the net (Grace over at Dating in Korea, and Terry, a regular reader who practices taekwondo).

I learned more about Good Man's life, and I think I came to understand him a bit better, too.

Sister and I traveled to Busan together, went on shopping trips together, built clocks together, went bowling together, baked apple pie and apple crisp together, and just got to know each other better. We built up the private jokes that friends and family members have.

Mother and I went on day trips together, met her friends, cried at sad TV shows, bantered playfully, and went on long walks together. We also built up our own cache of private jokes.

I missed Good Man terribly, especially after the third week. The last time we were separated for more than a few days was before he moved to America. We weren't married, engaged, or even living together. It was a big shift to be away from him for five weeks, and it was hard.

But I wanted to go to Korea to better understand my in-laws, and to really get to know them. I absolutely did that.

I'm so glad that Good Man supported my decision to go. And I'm grateful that Mother invited me into her home for five weeks. I only regret that Father had to work the entire time. I feel like I can honestly call Mother "Mother," and Sister "Sister" and I wish that I had strengthened my relationship with Father, too. But we have the future for that.

Before I went to Korea, I'd joke with friends, coworkers, and students' parents that "this is either my best idea ever, or my worst idea ever."

With hindsight, I can say it was truly one of my best ideas.

On Monday I met Paul for our own little Museum Day. Unfortunately, we did not consider that the majority of museums (and palaces) are closed on Mondays. You'd think I'd remember this since I discovered the same thing the first day of my parent's trip here back in 2007.

Frog-Sized Dead Cicada

Paul had two neat little books full of museums in Seoul. I'm hoping I can find a copy of those books muself at a tourism office. The only problem is that the entries were entirely in English with English names—which weren't the Korean names in English. So when we needed to ask for directions, we had to try and descibe the place. Romanization of the Korean names, or Korean itself, would have been a great help. Still, we found three that were open and looked interesting and headed off.

At Tapdol (Pagoda) Park

First, we went to the Choonwondang Museum of Korean Medicine. Paul knew the woman who worked there, so we got a very personal tour. She gave it entirely in Korean and I was able to follow most of it, although there's something about mercury I still don't understand. Also, you can smoke traditional Chinese medicine using a bong waterpipe. Learn something new every day.

She showed us where practitioners make medicine and we got to sample some. It was old meets new to see men in lab coats and huge steel drums that encased clay pots and a heating element. Unfortunately, I didn't take any photos.

We wandered through the city, had some lunch, and then headed off to the Museum of Korean Embroidery. We were running short on time, so we caught a cab. We had the driver call the museum to find out where it was located. He hung up, looked at us and said, "Dentist!"

Paul looked at me. I looked at him. Huh?

Turns out the museum was in the same building as a dentist's office, and on the same floor. The museum was small, full of interesting books, and full of employees who didn't even greet us or send us off with a goodbye. Stitch me unimpressed.

Reflections

Finally, we went to The Paper Museum (which I think is run by a glue/paper/sticker company). I was really impressed by this place. On the first floor there was some modern art and it appeared to be done by the same person (the labels didn't list the artist). I asked the guard if we could take photos, as long as we didn't use a flash. His eyes grew large and he said, "Yes, yes!"

Whenever I ask permission to take photos, even (as was the case here) when there's a sign saying not to, I am granted permission. This is why it ticks me off so much when other bloggers talk about "sneaking" photos. Either ask for permission or mind the signs.

After we were done with the first floor, the guard told us to go up to the third floor. In the stairwell there were examples of various paper folding and cutting methods, mostly don't by students. On the third floor we found a lot of different paper products turned into art. It was very neat, and Paul and I spent quite a bit of time up there.

We also poked around on the fourth floor and found a stationary store that had far less cute plastic junk and far more hanji (traditional Korean paper) than the average stationary store.

I highly recommend visiting the museum. I'm hoping to take Mother and Sister there before I leave. It's right off of Dongdaeipgu station, so it's easy to get to, as well.

새 해 복 많이 받으세요!

[Insert picture of rice cake soup I made for dinner. Which isn't actually inserted because my computer just broke down and I don't have access to my photo software.]

Before eating, we called Mother. I pointed to my soup. She was greatly pleased.

I think my mother-in-law is an easy mother-in-law, especially for a Korean woman. Or perhaps she had really, really low expectations of her white daughter-in-law. Or maybe she hates the way the elder sisters-in-law treat her and decided to be human.

In any case, I am damn lucky to have Good Man and his family.