Amanda Takes Off...

Imagine, if you will, a qualified, sassy teacher who has not been paid on time or in full even once since starting her job (3 months earlier). Other coworkers have essentially quit (she would find out later that they were out 11 and 8 million won each). Our heroine is overworked and unpaid. She's not scared of her boss, she's not worried about her visa.

She goes to work one day and sits in the office. She refuses to work.

Confused Foreigner (me): I'm not working until I have all of my money.

Desperate Crazy Boss Lady: If you don't work, I'm not going to pay you!

Confused Foreigner: When I do work, you don't pay me!

Desperate Crazy Boss Lady: I know!

Confused Foreigner (bursts out laughing): Uh huh. I'm going. Call me when you can pay me.

Desperate Crazy Boss Lady: But I need you to work! I need the parents to think I have money!

Confused Foreigner: My ex-coworkers have told them! They know you don't have money! The jig is up!

Desperate Crazy Boss Lady: But I need you to work! We can make them think we have money.

Confused Foreigner left and went to watch a Kukkiwon tourney.

Sometimes I get emails or comments from readers who say that I've inspired them to come to Korea (or stay away). I think, for the most part, I present a fairly positive view of Korea. However, now that I'm nearly a year removed from the worst of my jobs here, I'm ready to start presenting some of the...more nonsensical aspects of living and working in Korea.

Korean logic, Klogic, is something that defies most Westerners (and Good Man). It is, unfortunately, something that anyone coming to Korea will have to deal with. Ahhh, 'tis the nature of the beast.

Unfortunately, due to insane Korean laws, I can not name my employers. Not even when they've been found in a court of law to owe me money and the prosecutor has promised to "punish" them. Not even when they've been found to owe others over 15,000,000 won by a court of law. Not even when they got me evicted, and I have proof. Not even when they ran off and closed the school with no notice. Because, you see, if I were to name these employers, I might make them "lose face."

(Consider that your first lesson in Klogic.)

With that introduction, I present the first in an erratic series...

I
Imagine, if you will, a suddenly slightly cool fall day. Cool, but not at all unpleasant. Sitting on the floor, in a hogwon, with kindy kids.

Confused Foreigner (me): Mellanie, why is the floor heat on?
Mellanie (very rude Korean co-teacher): Because it's cold outside.
Confused Foreigner: Then why are all the windows and doors wide open, and why is the air conditioning on?
Mellanie: Because it's hot inside.

II
Imagine, if you will, a damn cold December day. Cold. A substandard heater, and strong winds blowing dust around outside.

Cool Co-Teacher: I'm going to open up the windows, it's dusty in here.
Confused Foreigner (me): But it's dusty outside.
Cool Co-Teacher: The dust only goes out. It won't come in.