Congratulations, George! Being Childfree and the Square Macro Series

My stepdad graduated from nursing school a few weeks ago and takes his boards soon. He went to the same nursing school my mom went to, which is the same college I earned my two-year associate degree from when I was in high school (Mom and I graduated on the same day!).

Tonight we had a party. A very big party which was a bit overwhelming and made me fall asleep at ten. Very, very nice though.

So Much Food

In this photo you can see one of my seven grandparents (ah, the math of a blended family). She is slightly crazy and she seems to have “lost her filter” as my aunt said.

“So when are you and [Good Man] going to get married and make half-babies? I want some pretty half-greatgrandbabies. Half-babies are always so cute.”

Images of Grandma rolling over her baby in a brothel and then going before King Solomon flashed in my head.

“The Shoe Bomber wasn’t cute. And not having kids Grandma, you know that.”

“I always get on M and S about that,” she said, referring to my childfree uncle and aunt.

“I know, we email each other about it.”

She looked really surprised. “Really? Well! I guess it’s time to stop bothering them and just get on you.”

I feel for couples who can’t get pregnant, I feel for women who feel they must settle to have kids. I don’t understand their desire for children, but I sympathize with anyone who wants them and struggles to have them. Unfortunately it often seems that I am not afforded the same “I don’t understand, but it’s your life” attitude.

Grandma has…a dozen grandkids. I am the first grandchild. Two through Four (Three being my brother) are married with kids (Three and Four having wives who are pregnant a second time), Five is Engaged, Six we have no contact with due to circumstances beyond our control, Seven is married, Eight (an unmarried high school student) is pregnant. Nine through Twelve are still high school aged or younger.

Despite having a slew of grandchildren who live (generally) like she wants them to, man oh man, she acts like it’s a personal affront that I’m not married, don’t want kids, don’t want to live in Minnesota, travel as much as possible, and don’t want to live in the States for long.

Cousin Two’s Wife, who was there with Well-Behaved Child (and without Cousin Two) patronizingly told me, “You’ll change your mind. Everyone does.” Only a few moments earlier she’d been complaining about the cost of childcare, food, and diapers and how she never sees her husband and she’s practically a widow. “But it’s not about the cost,” she said, “it’s all worth it.”

Well Good Man and I must be on the same page about it not being worth it to us because when I told him the costs she listed, his response (to do some math and figure out how many plane tickets that was) was the same as mine.

I’m not sure why No Filter Grandma is so hell-bent on making someone who doesn’t want to be a parent a mother, but it’s so nice that the decisions women make are up for patronizing discussion and debate.

Now. I should mention that despite No Filter Grandma, the party really was fun. I got to see a lot of family I haven’t seen in a long time, and some of George’s friends were really neat. One man, a police officer, has three kids who have or who do live in Korea. That was neat! There was a woman who lived in Hong Kong for about ten years, who’s going back there tomorrow, and another woman from the Netherlands. It was neat to talk to them.

***

I got to play with my new lens a bit. D80, LensBaby2 with f/4.

Girl
I don’t know who this is.

George

It’s really too bad I couldn’t get this one sharp. I have sharper ones, but he wasn’t smiling or even looking anywhere in this direction.

Mom
She was drawing names to name the lambs.

Square Macros

Done with the Nikon D80, 50mm 1.4 lens with a very scratched +4 macro filter on it.

Aster

Field Bindweed
I think. Anyone know?

Dandelion Before

Dandelion After

One thought on “Congratulations, George! Being Childfree and the Square Macro Series

  1. Comment from: Masur [Visitor]
    I don’t mind discussing or debating what I or anyone else believes, but too often it feels like too many people are just interested in a one-way venue for delivering their own opinions rather than having an open discussion about them.
    06/14/08 @ 17:37

    Comment from: admin [Member] Email
    Good point. In most cases, there is no actual discussion or debate. I tell people I’m childfree and get a list of reasons why I shouldn’t be, why I don’t know my own heart and mind, and/or why I’m selfish.

    I suspect that men are not treated the same way because my childfree male friends RARELY get the sort of patronizing comments that childfree female friends and I get.
    06/14/08 @ 18:00

    Comment from: Masur [Visitor]
    I would agree with that. I like how one of my friends summed it up…about not wanting children of their own, she said for men it’s usually “he’s just being a man”, but for women it’s usually “why aren’t you being a woman?”.

    What seems a little strange to me, though, is that the comments she gets are from other women.
    06/14/08 @ 21:01

    Comment from: Robbin [Member] Email
    After you get to be about 40 they let up on you. I’ve enjoyed these last 10 years…. of course none of my sibs have come through with children either. My bro married a woman with a child or mom would not ever have any grandbabies. I never knew that children are for other people’s needs.
    06/15/08 @ 10:22

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