Come on Kids. Moscow.

Well, today my students finally finished their state standardized tests. I taught them the five S’s:

South Carolina

(*We don’t only teach that slavery is the cause of the Civil War. But students have a hard time remembering which side had slaves. Next year I’ll add “States’ Rights.”)

And yet one student thinks that The Emancipation Proclamation marked the start of the Civil War.

If even one child answers something so stupidly, it doesn’t matter if my other fifteen students get it right. I feel like a poor teacher.

And yet… there’s Bad Kid. Bad Kid who studied on his own, who quizzed himself, who quizzed me, who pulled his Got-a-C-but-Should’ve-Been-a-D grade up to a good, solid, Real-Actual-Earned-B. I taught him something, didn’t I?

“Did you turn the air-con off?”

Good Man shrugged. “Yes.”

“Dammit, that’s why it’s so hot in here.”

“It was so cold! I woke up and felt like I was in Moscow,” Good Man protested.

“I set it to 75!” I searched on the computer, “That’s nearly 24 C!”

“Well, you know, Moscow is warmer now because of global warming.”

I shook my head. “You’re nuts! It’s 78 in the house! 이십오점오도야!”

“You are like frog,” Good Man said. “I am like human.” He started laughing to himself. “You are like Minnesota Frog Princess! From lake!”

“Which lake? We’ve got 10,000 of them in Minnesota.”

“Minnesota Lake!”

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(Oh, and for the record, my favorite Lake of the Woods lake names? This Man’s Lake, That Man’s Lake, Other Man’s Lake, No Man’s Lake.)

Operation Immigration: Timeline

Mailed AOS/EAD/AP to Chicago Lockbox: 6/1/2009
USPS reports rec’d: 6/3/2009