He Doesn’t See a Breast

At some museum in DC, on a field trip…

Docent, pointing to Picasso’s Nude Woman: And what do you see here?

Subatomic: I see a leg.

Docent: Anyone else?

Behaves for Me, But Not Everyone: I see a—

Docent: A breast? Is that what you want to say?

Behaves for Me, But Not Everyone. catches my eye and gives me an ‘is she crazy, did she just say that?’ look before politely responding: I see a eye.

Amanda Teacher, breathes a sigh of relief and mentally notes to compliment him on his maturity later.

The same docent asked Behaves his name and then went on to call him by an entirely different name—a name nobody on our grade, let alone in our tour group, has! He answered to it every time, just as polite as could be.

Overheard at Staples…

Loud Woman on Cell Phone: Well in September he was professing his undying love to me and asking me to marry him….. Umhmm, and now just two weeks after we—he’s in a new relationship. I am so pissed!