Really Married

Good Man and I have been married nearly a year. But recently I’ve felt “really” married.

I started working on our tax return, and filling out the info for a joint return was odd. It was easy, since he’s a student, but I’ve never had to consider what anyone else does when filing a tax return. Strange.

Last week we went to Wachovia and closed out “my” account. (He had access to it, but it’d been my account since 1999, and I was the only one with a debit/ATM card.) We went to Chevy Chase and closed out “his” money market account. (He’d used his check card within a week, so his checking account has to wait a bit longer.) We then took the cashier’s check for the money market account to our credit union. (We’ve been joint on all accounts there since the beginning and both have equal access, so it really it “our” credit union.) At the credit union we both had to sign the cashier’s check because it was written out to both of us. Strange.

While we were in Korea, Good Man’s laptop broke. He needs a laptop for school. We could buy a new one, but we’d like to see if we can get someone to look at his laptop first, since it’s less than 20 months old. And since my laptop is much older, it would make more sense to replace it first. So this week, as part of my snow day fun, I started backing up my laptop. I’m almost ready to hand it over to him so he can wipe it out and use it. I bought this laptop in June 2006. It was my first post-credit card debt purchase. It was with me through Korea. It’s always been my laptop. But I’ll happily let my husband wipe it out so he can use it. Strange.

Also in this past snow-week vacation, I was researching retirement funds. Oooh, I can open a Roth IRA for my non-working spouse! Wait, now I have to consider the retirement needs of my spouse? Strange.

Finally, I’ve been in a decluttering mood. I’ve been trying to figure out what triggered this since our house doesn’t feel cluttered and I don’t actually have much to declutter (compared to the past). In the past major declutters have come shortly before major breakups or life changes. Since we’re not breaking up and the legal and social wedding ceremonies were more than six months ago, what’s the major change? I finally realized that I was making more space for Good Man in our home. I still own more than him, but a lot of the unimportant stuff is gone. Good Man doesn’t get the big deal; he says we have plenty of space. But it feels better to me. It feels better to get rid of the remaining things that I don’t need, don’t want, don’t treasure, or that bring back bad memories.

So, here’s to The Year of the Tiger and 2010—the first lunar year and solar year that we’ll be married the entire time. 새해 복 많이 받으세요!

(Edit: Thanks to a sharp-eyed commenter who noticed the spelling error Good Man didn’t!)