Weird Conversations With Students

I found this draft from January 2007. I have no idea if I ever published it.

At Work Part One

All students are 9 Korean age, starting second grade in March, very good English speakers and pretty smart kids.

Girl One: Amanda Teacher, do you have to get married?

Me: No.

One: Good. I don’t want to get married. [Pause] If you don’t get married does that mean you don’t have kids?

Me, after thinking for a moment, this is Korea, not America: Yes, usually.

One: Good.

Boy: Unless you have sleepovers with boys.

Me: Right.

Boy: Kissing boys makes babies. [Makes kissy faces at One.]

Girl Two: Not kissing! More than that!

One, to Boy: I wouldn’t kiss you anyways!

Me: Good.

One, to Me: But I’ve had sleepovers with Two. And I’ve kissed her.

Me: …

At Work Part Two

Shy Boy: Amanda Teacher, what does ‘shut the **** up’ mean?

Me, hand flies over Shy’s mouth: Where did you learn that?

Shy, muffled: Television.