I met Master’s family again last week. I watched some testing at the studio, we had a late lunch, and we played some Go-Stop together. (I kicked butt once but lost the other four times or so we played.) I came home, slipped off my shoes, and greeted Mother and Sister.
“How much soju did you drink?” Mother asked.
“None. We didn’t drink any alcohol.” Mother looked at me suspiciously, so I exhaled heavily, indicating she could smell my breath if she wanted to.
Mother took me to a samgyetang restaurant near her house for lunch. The waitress brought me a fork, which I promptly ignored. Halfway through the meal I said, “Mother, how do you eat samgyetang gracefully?”
“You don’t. You eat steak gracefully with a knife and a fork. You just eat samgyetang.”
Mother, her best friend, Sister and I were eating pho together. Mother told me when Good Man was younger, the family was eating a pizza together. Good Man really liked the pizza and spit on Sister’s piece so she wouldn’t eat it.
“My brother, too!” I said. I explained, using words and pantomiming, that when we were younger my brother and I were sharing a piece of cake. He cut it, so I got to choose the piece, but he cut them very unevenly. Before I could choose the much larger piece, he spit on it.
The four of us laughed about how both brothers behaved in the same way. Later, I called Good Man on it. “Well,” he said, “it was just a moment with [Sister].”
“You and my brother are both nasty boys!”
On Saturday, Sister and I wandered around Olympic Park and COEX together. We walked about 15K, and Sunday night I was really hungry. Mother asked me what I wanted for dinner and I said a sandwich.
I started to prepare my sandwich and Mother told me I couldn’t have two slices of bread because the bread has too many calories.
“Amanda! You should eat an ear of corn.”
I had already tasted some of the corn, and it was rather tasteless, like eating a brick of starch. “Mother, I really want a sandwich.”
“Corn and ice cream! You can eat ice cream, too.”
I looked at her, confused. “If I’m fat, why are you giving me ice cream?”
As far as I know, organic ice cream still has calories in it. The day before, Mother lectured me on how corn is really stachy and I shouldn’t eat it because I’m fat. Mother’s Logic is…astounding. Instead I said, “Mother! Please understand me! I am so hungry, I really need two pieces of bread.”
Mother tsked me and finally gave me another piece of bread, both of us laughing.
Organic Ice Cream and Tasteless Corn: A Mother-Approved Diet. It’s the newest fad!