Sassy Mother, Sassy Me

Yesterday Mother and I went to Herb Garden together. This has been our thing. Most evenings, before dinner, we’ve gone for a ~3 mile walk to this local park.

On the way home, I was walking down the middle of the road and she told me to move because I would be hit by a car. It’s a one way road and I could see there weren’t any cars coming.

“Mother, you want to be a rich woman, and if I die you’ll get money.”

“What?”

I started wailing, “Oh my God, oh my goodness, my daughter-in-law! You killed her! Give me money. She is my only daughter-in-law, she is my foreign daughter-in-law. Give me money.

I continued on while Mother laughed. “I don’t want money that much. You are a comedian.”

“Use your sexy voice. You need your sexy voice,” I said.

Mother wailed in a husky, sexy voice, “Oh my God, oh my goodness.”

I paused. “Mother, I am sorry. I am a terrible-daughter-in-law.” Mother asked why and I made hash of a sentence trying to say if I were a Korean daughter-in-law, I couldn’t talk like I do. I know I said it completely incorrectly, but Mother understood.

“That’s true, but you are not Korean.”

“Mother, I am a sassy girl. Do you know sassy?”

“뻔뻔한.”

“And I think you like me because deep, deep, deep down in your heart, you are a sassy girl, too.”

“You think?”

I nodded, “Yes, deep down in your heart you are a sassy girl.”

Mother chuckled, “Deep, deep, deep, deep down. A little bit.”

I smiled, “And [Good Man] needs a sassy woman. I need a smart man and he needs a sassy woman.” I couldn’t remember the word for imagine, so I said, “In your mind, can you make a picture of me with a dumb man?”

Once she understood what I was asking, she started laughing, “No, you would be very angry. ‘Why are you so stupid?’ And you are right, my son needs a sassy woman.”